tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60631172011-04-21T14:43:17.013-07:00No More Wallsa little insight into my personal monologue that is nowhere near as interesting as it sounds.Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comBlogger311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1092858607724667092004-08-18T12:38:00.000-07:002004-08-18T12:50:07.723-07:00It amazes me how in certain moments when I finally start to move to where I need to be in my life, when I start to do what I need and want to do, as opposed to just letting myself sink, the moments of lowness seem so inane. Stumble through your memories To find your will Yearn for a voice that knows no fear Behind her eyes there is choice Are you true to yourself? Or do you just move with the Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1092161450212094722004-08-10T10:55:00.000-07:002004-08-10T11:10:50.216-07:00"Don't you miss the feelin' music gave you back in the day?" Prince said it right there... It's been so long since I've gotten out of my head enough to really enjoy myself. At what point did I become so egotistical that I had to be this certain way or no one would like me. That sounds so inane right now it's ridiculous. Of all the things to fear, being wrong has got to be the worst, because, how Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1090955503511857702004-07-27T12:05:00.000-07:002004-07-27T12:11:43.513-07:00just do it... maybe yoda should've said that... seems more appropriate, maybe I would carry at as a wise and prudent phrase if it had come from say Tyler Durden, Hunter Thompson, Heratio Alger, anybody that has ever written wise words. The few times that I have, it's been just like driving a car for the first time, scarry, but oh so exciting. I realize that listening to that internal gut reactionAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1090262147984807912004-07-19T11:27:00.000-07:002004-07-19T11:45:05.786-07:00OK, here it is... THE BOTTOM LINE!   I want you and not in a friendly kind of way. You call me, but we don't ever see each other. When you call sometimes I wonder why you even still bother because you never want to spend any time with me. I have gotten the impression in the past that you liked me. I don't know if you're afraid of getting burned again, or you just don't know how to tell me that Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1089745511115245282004-07-13T11:17:00.000-07:002004-07-14T11:01:28.976-07:00You are truly a learning experience for me. On the one hand I find myself drawn incredibly to you and on the other I find myself wanting to run like hell. For more than one reason now. When we first met I thought you were OK, but then as I spent more time around you I realized a side of you that I hadn't payed attention to before. The bottom line is... You are beautiful and the truth is that Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1088535022981094782004-06-29T11:40:00.000-07:002004-06-29T11:50:22.980-07:00So I had what I thought was this really cool post on here yesterday, and apparently it didn't publish, which sucks. So today, I have to figure out where I'm moving... I have a couple of apartments I've looked at, but nothing I'm crazy about. I have however, begun to realize that all these negative emotions I've been experiencing over the last few weeks have been a product of my lack of will and Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1087953756705881682004-06-22T18:06:00.000-07:002004-06-22T18:22:36.706-07:00"I'm so tired, I'm so tired of tryin'..." This song has been stuck in my my head for several months now. "Flake" it speaks to my integrity, or lack there-of. I realize that my lack of action towards what I want to become and who... my lack of doing what I say I will... of being honest creates this fear in me that locks me up. It causes me to invent this false image of myself that i think they Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1076894038534376542004-02-15T17:13:00.000-08:002004-02-15T17:16:34.653-08:00Realize that every moment is an opportunity to learn, to experiment with your will to create within you the person that you want to be.Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1076717860090855532004-02-13T16:17:00.000-08:002004-02-13T16:20:13.280-08:00Misused luxuries In an event called reason Sing to the top of your lungs to uplift the treason Walk empty like a prayer To help those of the mind forget their intuition Here is my mission Here under the prophets care Watch me fall down to an Angel's condemnation Push me to a new Horizon Entrench me in the scripture of the blind Hold me to appreciation of the mind Teach the unconquearable truthsAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1076717530028054062004-02-13T16:12:00.000-08:002004-02-13T16:14:43.293-08:00I see tons of wasted potential all around me, but at least it makes me appreciate the possibilities of what could be... This aint subliminal Feel the critical mass approach horizon Tha pulse of the condemned Sound off Americas demise Tha anti-myth rhythm rock shocker Yes I spit fire Hope lies in the smoldering rubble of empires Yes back through tha shanties and tha cities remains Same bodies Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1076606554796655092004-02-12T09:22:00.000-08:002004-02-12T09:25:06.140-08:00wow, it's been over a month since I wrote something on here. It's odd that I feel that I have been in sort of a stagnant state for the last few, oh, I don't know, years, I guess is the word I'm looking for. I'm only 21, so to think that I've already spent time unproductively is a little... disappointing. in any case... I've realized a few seemingly simple, yet highly profouns lessons over the Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1072293270510794942003-12-24T11:14:00.000-08:002003-12-24T11:14:46.576-08:00Ho Frickin' Ho... Merry Christmas everyone... maybe this blog is just a vent for my thoughts when i can't find an outlet to vent them to... "where are all the good men dead? In the heart or in the head?" I feel like listening to Bruce Springsteen... I wanna hear a slow Jazz riff with some Bob Dylan blues harmonica... maybe some John lee Hooker... I realize that after my Grandmother's death, in Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1072226932109271852003-12-23T16:48:00.000-08:002003-12-23T16:49:07.643-08:00Feel a little basic today... I fel supremely comfortable with new things, which may sound simple... but I'm just starting to get back to a state of mind where I really WANT to learn new things. I think it's been pent up for a while... Like I hear of a band and hear people say they were good and say the same thing myself without ever listening to them... pretend to like them because it makes me Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1071333066975190442003-12-13T08:31:00.000-08:002003-12-13T08:31:19.990-08:00It's just this whole tedious, does she actually like me... say this, don't say that... have to come off ust the right way to seem interested, but not too interested... and in the back of your mind the entire time you have the idea that even if this does start to go somewhere... then there's the worry of investing your care and emotionand then it falling through... that's what's exhaustingAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1071272650716755152003-12-12T15:44:00.000-08:002003-12-12T15:44:23.250-08:00How do you change your life? New House More money Learn a new hobby Get in touch with the creator within? Learn to play guitar write to express your thoughts Be more disciplined Quite drinking Do your laundry Clean your house more often Express love in everything you do? Save a whale plant a tree Go to class Get a degree ( I swear I didn't mean for that toAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1071272184930445342003-12-12T15:36:00.000-08:002003-12-12T15:36:37.566-08:00The Seminary Student 24, Very attractive dark hair... Bachelors in Philosophy Working on masters in theology Kicked out of Seminary, because a pastor came on to HER... Just broke off an engagement refuses to go on first dates without a group of people Works with me (i.e. I could get fired for this) suprisingly intelligent... Seems amazingly sweet spirited... THIS IS EXHAUSTING!!!!!!!!!!Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1070464716531667092003-12-03T07:18:00.000-08:002003-12-03T07:18:47.073-08:00Erin land was were you were all the time there Ern. That was the whole point... Remember all those moments when we were either A. All trying to explain something that we knew that YOU knew, but you didn't see what we were talking about... or B. You emerged from focusing on something else, another conversation, a paper, lunch whatever... to suddenly interject your comment with "Whoa... what the Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1070313418526809452003-12-01T13:16:00.000-08:002003-12-01T13:17:08.636-08:00I'm breaking out I've held my cards too long This heart so alive Has Got to bring life back To this calculated, controlled expression Flash me in the spotlight 'cause I've got a message to give I want to scream love to the masses I want to put a gun to the head Of the on-going need for man to judge Himself by another's perception It's time to kill the snooze button On the alarm I should have Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1070312737530229612003-12-01T13:05:00.000-08:002003-12-01T13:05:47.756-08:00I want to drift away in prophetic dreams but the morning can't bring light to realization In the suns rays these days of dreams seem worn and faded and sometimes the distance between what's right and what's good has never seemed so far habits like lost loves chain me to my mediocrity While Mr Jones hands me one more To make it through the night 'Cause the sunshine broke it's promise of a Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1069709155595390662003-11-24T13:25:00.000-08:002003-11-24T13:26:03.636-08:00Insight into a world called Erinland... Anyone remember Erin land? A magical world where rules of logic and reason need not apply. All kinds of things inspired the Beatles... Weed, long tours with no sleep, All kinds of things, but I just don't see Pet Sounds... not at #2 over tons of other albums... it's like they set the beatles as the standard by which all things musical are to be judged...Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1069125668573193192003-11-17T19:21:00.000-08:002003-11-17T19:21:14.916-08:00Day 2 of cleaning the house complete... 75 dollars in cleaning supplies... 16 rolls of paper towels, 3 bottles of clorox clean-up, 1 gallon of Pine-Sol, 2 mops... 1 case of beer, 16 hours of CLEANING!!!! Do you ever get in that mood when all you want to do is clean? Usually intently thoughtful... "What is the meaning of life? Attaining omni-present, supergalactic, spiritual, one-ness... type Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068695565805643252003-11-12T19:52:00.000-08:002003-11-12T19:52:50.456-08:00I am more content with who I am now than i ever have been before... I am merely bored at the moment... I seek stimulation... something that Chicago on TV is not giving me... I seek new input, more genuine interaction... Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068672121037467112003-11-12T13:22:00.000-08:002003-11-12T13:22:06.066-08:00All right, I have blogback, so all those that feel my words worth replying to... knock yourselves outAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068664352113383592003-11-12T11:12:00.000-08:002003-11-12T11:12:37.260-08:00I don't have a great deal of creative things to say today.. just a feeling of lightness, that today is the start of somethingg new, better... unknownAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068664274389040332003-11-12T11:11:00.000-08:002003-11-12T11:11:19.543-08:00Maybe the feeling of rejection is a truly liberating experience... knowing that a friend that has been there... wil still be there, that your feeling of connection matters more... what you've learned, what you feel you still could learn and are learning at the momentAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068613495956637492003-11-11T21:04:00.000-08:002003-11-11T21:05:01.053-08:00She drives away... knowing that she is leaving me here... perplexed, rejected... unfulfilled. Tonight she will not be wracked with the questions in her head of what about her isn't desirable enough... or why it is that she can't have what she wants. She won't wonder why it isn't her that is chosen to recieve that affection that seems to fullfill her in a way that no one or nothing else can... andAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068577633557287112003-11-11T11:07:00.000-08:002003-11-11T11:07:18.513-08:00I'll give advice, but I always follow with "but i could be completely wrong about that..." I don't know if we're ever meant to realy fix ourselves, only to relate our problems and our understanding of the ways in which we grow to others that we care about... that can relate similar problems and other perspectives on the same condition we all endure... Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068577302386588062003-11-11T11:01:00.000-08:002003-11-11T11:01:47.423-08:00Summer's fire makes it's last stand... The winter comes quickly at it's heels. Suddenly I am whipped into a craze of expressive... whatever, I can't think of the word for that. Talking to all my friends from long ago so much lately has revived a sense of passion that I have not remembered in 2 years. Looking at the firey pattern of the leaves as the whirl around my head, I feel a renewed sense Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068528088662436122003-11-10T21:21:00.000-08:002003-11-10T21:21:33.380-08:00Self sextructive behavior... the un-dying urge to watch a movie on TV that you already own. Or to park in the no-parking zone simply because you'd rather pay the ticket than walk the extra block. The need to trim your toe-nails too close, or just give-up on studying... Just move to the beach and do nothing... live out your days remembering the potential you once believed you had... searching Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068527890078520172003-11-10T21:18:00.000-08:002003-11-10T21:18:14.820-08:00What is it with the over-whelming urge to help you X when she is in trouble? Are guys prone to trying to be that "Knight in shining armour" do we want that girlish sense of adoration when all we really want is someone we can be attracted to, that will teach us about ourselves, and still have good sex? yet, when she calls, you want to help, you want to let her know she special, and loved, no Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6063117.post-1068526625235488772003-11-10T20:57:00.000-08:002003-11-10T20:57:10.180-08:00A few lists... of essential media, or maybe just suggestions for every day life Read: 1. The Handmaids Tale 2. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintanence 3. The Unbearable lightness of Being 4. Love in the time of Cholera 5. East of Eden 6. Brave New World revisited (even if you didn't read BNW) 7. Cash by: Johnny Cash 8. The lyrics to Pearl Jam songs... 9. Atlas Shrugged 10. Emerson Listen toAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13640673147144742953noreply@blogger.com